Among the relative that surround me, I will share with you some thoughts around three of them as I am asking myself what seem to drive their actions at their present age. There was a time when I am not certain why I would position me at the center of the stage, thinking that my dear ones are acting in such or such manner mainly because of me. Now older, maybe more experienced in life if not wiser I come to think differently. My seventy two years old father still surprises me as much as my two daughters under the age of ten. I have lived my life quite close to my father, both from a geographical and an emotional point of view. My father is a big traveler, but don't get me wrong, not the four star hotel explorer and cruise ship lover kind of traveler; but more of the backpack camper type, with a thirst for activities rarely others would conceive to do, as if he is constantly willing to challenge himself. Over the years, I always had the opportunity to get to better know my father. We were connected enough for me to better understand him one may think. Well, I am still searching for answers regarding his personality believe it or not.
Recently, I have started to ask myself questions around his motivation. I believe that it plays a big role in shaping our personality. If you want to know a person, try to understand what their motivation is. Day by day I incline more towards this possibility. It is not always possible to approach the person and ask: 'Hey, what is your motivation? Let me know because I want to know you better.' In fact, we may not always be in touch of our motivation. We may do things without knowing why we do them.
My daughters are at an age where they play the game of finding where their limits are. Once they have found it and they feel like it, they try to see if they can push their limit even further. Is their main objective to upset me? I come to that conclusion particularly when I am tired or already upset at something else (yes, I do feel those as well and I admit that I am far from being perfect). During my relaxed time, I come to another conclusion: that their personality is continuing to take deeper shape.
Well, what I do tell myself every day is that even if I cannot point exactly to what motivates those loved ones that surround me, I should continue to search for their motivation if I want to better understand them. Can I actually do that? Can I even do that to better know myself?