Monday, 26 December 2011

What? Me, loosing my temper?!

Well, here we go.

Do you occasionally realize that you need to repeat yourself as you address your child? Or even get frustrated as you repeat yourself, and your darling little one stares at you, almost as if they are enjoying the scene? Well, true enough, they seem to enjoy watching your mood swings the same way a scientist takes a joy observing the experiment she is running.

Just yesterday morning, one of my three daughters was standing right there in front of me, as for the third time I was reminding her that it is time to get up to put on her outside gear. Else, we will be late for the school bus. She wouldn't even answer, up to me to decide if she was in fact hearing me, leave alone, listening to me. Do I need to raise my voice, I may not be speaking loud enough? Well, I did do that. The results were far from being fruitful. It only added to my aggravation, raising my voice did nothing more than that. It took me some time to chill and find my inner peace.

What did work was indeed my husband calmness. It is only then that I realized that in such situation, you can increase your chances of having a positive influence by remaining calm. Can you be holding your seven months daughter, doing your eight year old's hair and talking calmly to the seven years old? I guess practice increases the chance to make it happen! Practice makes it better, but not enough have I found.

A useful tool has been to remind myself about the values that we find crucial in our household. Definitely, experience has taught me to prioritize those values. I came to realize that one of those values is to avoid easily loosing my temper, particularly over little things. I feel it is substantial for our children to learn that, as the more clear head they would be, the better decision they will be able to make. I experience that on a daily basis. I encourage my children to try it and implement it in their lives as well.

No one is perfect. As parents we may occasionally loose it, just like I recently did, but the bottom line is to stick to our own values. Let's not try to get away by not following our own beliefs for the wrong reason, such as lack of time. What kind of example would that set for our children, we set values to not follow them? Under certain circumstances one may need to slightly adjust them, but not forget them. With my own daughters, I have noticed that the more I remain calm and stick to those values, the more likely they are to actually listen to me. With my smile on the face, and my firm voice, they in fact pleasantly go on completing their duties. Occasionally, they wouldn't even fuss. If you haven't tried that calm attitude yet, please do and let me know how it worked out for you.