Motivation: from emotion to action 2

I believe that few realities are written on stone and motivation is not one of them. Of course, just like a car can get low in gas we can occasionally run out of fuel and seem to have no other choice than to disconnect with our motivation. In the extreme case, our vision may become blurry preventing us to see the horizon and leaving us only to loose our motivation from sight. In rare cases, we may get disconnected for ever but most often the possibilities to get disconnected temporarily may occur. Particularly since our priorities in our daily life may change, we may need to readjust ourselves to meet these changes. In such moments, it appears that we may become more vulnerable and in our defense rely on such reasons, to not say excuses, as "I am too tired", "I am too busy", "I do not feel right" or even, "it depresses me"; or just like it happened to me last night, I "did not get the time to get to it". We can not control everything, but staying focused is generally a useful strategy to cope with events during rough times. As matter of fact, motivation can actually do that. Give us the boost to remain focused. Feel in control. Be in control.

Please stay tuned as a life experience will illustrate that in my next blog. 

Motivation: from emotion to action 1

I argue that we are driven to do what we do because of our motivation. Under the most difficult times, you may go on with the task you are undertaking because you have the motivation to do so. Various emotions such as tiredness or sadness may be easily forgotten since it is motivation that encourages us to take the necessary steps to be active and accomplish our tasks. To my knowledge, a lack of motivation can leave us to feel too busy, too tired or too lazy to get going. Possessing motivation can refuel us, equipping us with the necessary energy to go on.

And to be continued...

Motivation

According to Psychology Today:

Motivation is literally the desire to do things. It's the difference between waking up before dawn to pound the pavement and lazing around the house all day. It's the crucial element in setting and attaining goals—and research shows you can influence your own levels of motivation and self-control. So figure out what you want, power through the pain period, and start being who you want to be.

It would not be realistic for me to expect my under 10 daughter to tell me: 'well, mom, the motivation behind my action is that...'. I doubt that even my own dad, who is now more than seventy years old, would be able to explain to clearly explain the motives behind his actions, as the word desire comes easier in mind. Don't you find that it appears easier to relate actions to emotions: 'you are making me upset', 'you pushed me into doing this', 'I was feeling sad, that is why I did that', etc. Do not hesitate to let me know if you have never heard such sentences. We all need to express our emotions, however I believe that we should distinguish between how we feel and what we do. I am not a big believer in: 'I desire to do that, that is why I did it'. Such conceptualization  is not a satisfactory explanation to me.


According to Dictionnary.com:

Desire a longing or craving, as for something that brings satisfaction or enjoyment: a desire for fame.

The concept of 'desire' deals merely with emotions and I believe that focusing on only that is walking on fine ice.  Emotions are important. We need to express them. I am a true believer of that. What we do can be related to our emotions; however, I argue that we need to look beyond our emotions if we want to understand the reasons behind our actions. Having just a desire to do something is not enough for us to go ahead and do it. Desire may give us the urge to act upon whatever it is we have in our mind, but it will not necessarily give us all the needed strength to actually act. Desire creates the craving. Having a craving is one thing, taking the necessary steps to appease our craving is different. Thus, I focus on MOTIVATION.

As previously indicated, in my upcoming blogs I will look at the reasons behind why it is we do what we do. Do not hesitate to write me your comments during this process, as healthy dialogues can only lead to healthy development of the mind.

Until next time.

But why did you do that?

Have you ever found your young child to do things, surprising you with their creativity, and then up to you to find out about why it is they did what they did, especially if their actions were wrong? Thanks to my 71/2 daughter, I often get 'these' kind of surprises. At first, I used to get upset, thinking that the basis of her actions were directly tied to my emotions. Let's play the game of making mommy upset did I used to think. I now agree with you, too simplistic for a mom who supposedly has some experience to be a mom. It took me some time to realize that I should rethink my logic. Her desire to make me upset may have occasionally triggered her actions but not every single time. Of course, I have tried to ask her the question of WHY did you do that? However, even as an adult we may have difficulty to answer to a WHY question. There is so much that we can expect of a child. She barely had an answer to offer to explain why.

How is it that she ends up doing what it is that she is doing? Out of desire? It is possible. I did it because I WANTED TO, because I LIKED doing it. Out of desire may be a valid reason, but I believe it is not the only one. One should look at the MOTIVE behind the action. What motivated you to do that may be a better question to ask ourselves.

And this is the topic I would like to further expand in my few upcoming blogs. Please stay tuned...

Selfishness? What is that?

Recently I introduced to one of my daughter the concept of 'selfishness' as it seems that many of her actions are merely targeted to satisfy her own soul first, despite the need of the rest of her family. The explanations needed to be as simple as possible as she is only 7 years old. I stuck to how a selfish person only thinks about herself and how before responding to anything, she would first think about what she wants first.

I believe it is great that a person that young can have the confidence to say what she wants, but at the same time, she needs to understand that ONLY thinking about ONESELF can have devastating results in the long run. Despite the mere satisfaction in the short run, it will not take long for friends to start distancing themselves from her, for as long as she would only believe that SHE IS RIGHT and ALL NEED TO ACCEPT HER WISHES. I truly believe that everyone needs to learn that there is a time to voice our wishes, and another to listen to the needs of our surrounding.


Go, go, Family go!

How happy are you?

I am on a maternity leave, away from the regular classes I teach, but oh am I ever busy?! True, I am busy but quite happy. Are you happy? What does bring you happiness? Let’s take a deep breath and reflect on that, shall we?

The concept of happiness has attracted a great number of writers, philosophers and great thinkers for over centuries. There seem to be some connection between happiness and satisfaction. But happiness is one of those concepts that I believe quite relative. What can make me happy may provide you with other emotions. The opposite can of course be true as well.

There are some ties between my happiness and my ability to associate with people. Creating and maintaining connections appears to me as a good way to pave my way to happiness. As a human being, we are social beings. We often like to feel that we are not by ourselves. Like many of us, I enjoy to connect to others. I am happy to be able to connect with others both directly and indirectly, in person, by phone or the net. I am continuing to work on my skills to improve my abilities to do that, as it is not always easy to deepen and keep these friendships.

As a mom of three, I came to realize that one good way to stabilize the level of happiness in our household is to work on friendships especially with other families who have children of the same age as ours. They get to socialize, as much as we do. It is good for everyone and no one feels being left out. However, I cannot afford to just rely on such friendships; far from saying that they limit me I am only indicating that the variety of friends can help to meet my other interests. I do need to address those as well so that I can better reach a satisfactory level of happiness. It is not really the number that matters to me, but the variety.

How does it work out for you? How do you rate your level of happiness?

Technology...connection or disconnection?

I find it amazing how technology enables us to connect to many, as much as it can disconnect us from those who may be immediately surrounding us. Sure, the easy to use computer programs and the internet allow us to reconnect with loved ones live. Thank you to programs such as Skype!  At the same time, these same useful tools prevent us from directly connecting with those who are just right there beside us. Come on, admit it, has it not happened to find yourself typing your thoughts or exchanging words using your computer, phone or tablet and coming close to ignoring those who are right there beside you?  Think again, it may have happened at home, or in an office. If you are telling me that you just don't know what it is I am talking about, eh bien chapeau!

Technology is just wonderful. Thanks to it, I sleep reassured that my daughters can share their tooth fairy stories with their grandparents living overseas. They can talk to each other live, they can exchange emails and load pictures for each other... But, wait a minute, you know about all these tools, why remind you all about it?  Not only these tools allow my parents and my children to stay connected, it is also a great physical and mental exercise for the two generations. Particularly for those who are not so tech savvy oriented, finding the right key to press can be great challenge. For the kids, such time spent behind the keyboard is quite useful writing exercises. If the two generations happen to be talking to each other, what a better way to practice giving presentations and speaking clearly. Of course, not every child has Emily Young's ability to express herself, but they sure can give it a try for themselves.

Similarly, when a sister is using technology to connect with grandpa', she has to disengage from the rest of the family. That is normal. It is unlikely to spend 24/7 with each other at home in most situations, of course, unless we are talking disability, sickness, etc. Disconnection occurs when the is not time limit set. When siblings forget to connect with each other in real time. When mom and dad are too busy with their own emailing. When each member of the family focuses over too long period of times behind the screen. When focus is on reality as seen on the monitor rather than lived in real world.

So yes, yeah to technology! Connection or disconnection? Part of the answer is really in our palms.

Go, go, Family go!